There is a BIG difference between reducing gaze indifference and reducing gaze aversion.

• One requires treatments that focus on sensory processing to lower a child’s overall neurological arousal level.

• The other won’t respond significantly to sensory treatment, and requires behavioral and psycho-educational strategies.

Can you tell the difference between them?

Gaze aversion has a distinct emotional component to it.  Kids with gaze aversion are visibly uncomfortable making eye contact.  Doing so bothers them, in simple terms.  The show their unique signs of distress, even if they are subtle.  These kids may make active efforts to avoid gaze.  They are not simply looking at something else that interests them; they are avoiding gazing at your eyes.  They may look at your shoulder, or even your chin.  The distress signs are the key to identifying gaze aversion.

Gaze indifference is another animal.  These kids can often initiate eye contact with you when they want something.  That could be your answer to a question they posed.  It could be an action that they want you to execute.  But they don’t respond with eye contact in the natural way that a neurotypical infant will when their name is called, or when a sentence like, “OH, I have an IDEA!” is said in a group.  Telling them to look at you results in very little improvement in communication unless you told them what information to look for on your face, and it lasts as long as your request.  It would be the equivalent of you watching paint dry:  you believe that there is nothing there for you to see.

First of all, why is it important for a child with ASD to look at you during conversation?

The simple answer:   Without shared attention, communication and connection are seriously damaged.

The complicated answer:

A great deal of information is gained by looking at the expressions and body language of the other people you are speaking to.  Anyone who did Zoom for work during the COVID pandemic will tell you that speaking with a rectangular box was not as helpful as seeing the person behind the box.  We learn about their emotions, their interest level in what we are saying, and we can see when they are ready to respond (or not).  We connect with the person we are looking at, but we are also learning and adjusting our delivery all the time, based on what we notice and how we attribute meaning to those actions.

Emotional connection is made when my eyes meet yours.  The brightness in someone else’s eyes tells us that they are “in there”.  This brightness dulls with depression, and glows with affection.  Knowing the emotional temperature of the person you are speaking to can be crucial in correctly hearing sarcasm or seriousness, and flirting from, well, not flirting. We know when to pause or offer a turn in response, when to take our turn speaking, and when to wrap things up or change the subject.  All from looking at the person’s face.  Kids with ASD that have either gaze aversion or gaze indifference miss all of this!

Both of these issues spell trouble for a child’s social and language development.  Incidental learning of social cues doesn’t happen when no one is paying attention to them.  Following directions often requires us to see where the speaker’s gaze is directed and follow it.  We don’t realize this is something that we do.  Neurotypical babies do this naturally and early.

 

What can you do?

Children with gaze avoidance need better sensory processing treatment.  They may need environmental changes that support their ability to handle sensory input while learning.  Children with gaze indifference need to practice looking at people’s face and be told what to look for.  And why.  And build a skill that should come naturally but doesn’t.  This can be fun as well as work.  Games and things like that”knock knock” jokes that ask for listening and responding for very short periods.  Don’t wait until adolescence to start working on gaze indifference.  You will have wasted years in which they have hardened habits down so tight that it is difficult to change.

Looking for more information on supporting the child with ASD?  I got you!

Read Why Learning to Get Dressed Is Such a Challenge For Autistic and Sensory Kids  and  Teaching Special Needs Kids How to Write? I Wrote a Handout Pack for YOU!  today.  Then read  Sleepless ADHD/ASD Kid Taking Stimulants? A Drug-Free Solution