Something happens to babies between 12 and 18 months. The adorable little child that could be easily distracted from grabbing your earrings, ate anything you offered, and smiled when you praised him is replaced by someone whose favorite word is “NO!!”, delivered at astonishing volume for a person who weighs in at only 23 pounds.
Welcome to toddlerhood. Get ready, it is going to be a bumpy ride!
Dr Harvey Karp’s Happiest Toddler techniques are usually discovered by frustrated parents of two year-olds who are tearing around the house, taking hostages. But these effective behavior management methods can be cherry-picked to be used with younger toddlers. In fact, starting early with patience stretching and the Fast Food Rule Taming Toddler Tantrums Using Sympathetic Reframing is a smart way to grow a toddler. These techniques really do teach patience with kids Stretch Your Toddler’s Patience, Starting Today! and teach them that their complaints will be heard without always getting their way. Dealing with bad habits later takes longer than instilling good ones any day.
You just have to be aware of which methods work for tiny minds and start planting the seeds before things get out of hand. Some methods, like Giving It In Fantasy, will not work. Young toddlers do not have the capacity to distinguish reality from fantasy. Too many words, as well. Same with Gossiping About Good Behavior. They think that you are talking to them and don’t get the full effect of “overhearing” a compliment.
Not sure you want to “time-out” a 14 month-old? Use Kind Ignoring, in which you momentarily turn away from the whining or defiance of a very young child. Ignore the behavior briefly, even move 10-15 feet away without saying anything or making gestures or even a negative facial expression. In fact, doing nothing at all but removing your self from the banging or throwing of toys sometimes works better than a statement or a look. Your action coveys that this is not going to get your attention, it is going to remove you from their presence. So much of the time, the littlest toddlers are doing these things to engage you when they don’t have the words to do so. Don’t take that bait, and you have avoided what the Baby Whisperer would call “accidental parenting”.
She is a big believer in “start as you mean to go on”, and so am I. Consistency gives all children a bedrock at home and at school. They know what to expect, how to gain attention and how to successfully communicate even at an age where they have less than 20 words. If you want more peace, don’t think that you have to wait until you can have a conversation about behavior with your child. The door to communication is open way before that point!
