I love the concept of “grit”, probably because I see it in so many of the special needs kids that I treat. Meeting major challenges of living either crushes you or makes you stronger. Researcher and author Angela Duckworth has championed the study of grit, and schools are even adjusting their teaching curricula to try to encourage a combination of perseverance and conscientiousness. As an occupational therapist, there is nothing like the triumphant grin from a child that accomplished something difficult through their perseverance, patience and focus. But how early can you see grit, and how early can you support the development of grit in children that do not seem to have it naturally?
I think grit is present earlier than the kindergarten stage, but it has to be viewed through a lens that corresponds to an earlier developmental stage than originally thought. The famous “marshmallow test” study by Walter Mischel in the 60’s looked at 4-to-6 year-olds. Spoiler Alert: the kids that could use suggested strategies or come up with their own to avoid eating a marshmallow while alone for 15 minutes (in order to be rewarded with a second one) had better self-control later in life. They got better grades as a group, completed more advanced educational levels, were more financially successful, and had fewer relationship and workplace difficulties.
One of the general conclusions of professionals since then has been that you really don’t see that kind of ability in kids younger than those in that original study. I believe that they haven’t recognized the earliest stirrings of grit. Just like a flower and it’s bud, it doesn’t look the same as full-blown grit. Being able to avoid eating the marshmallow until the examiner gets back isn’t the appropriate test for grit in a 2 year-old. Being able to wait for even a minute or two for goldfish crackers might be. So would calmly picking up toys before bedtime.
Toddlers who have mastered Patience Stretching, Dr. Harvey Karp’s simple method for building patience in children as young as 12 months old, are showing some grit. Stretch Your Toddler’s Patience, Starting Today! I also think that kids that have learned alternative expressions of emotion instead of resorting to defiance have sown seeds for grit. Kind ignoring, in which defiance and negative attention-seeking is responded to with a brief withdrawal of interaction only, makes it more likely for toddlers and preschoolers to generate positive strategies for attention. Toddlers Too Young For Time Out Can Get Simple Consequences and Kind Ignoring Using those methods requires them to have more focused attention than throwing a fit.
Grit alone is not going to guarantee a happy and successful life. But grit can support kids when life throws them a curve ball. Dr. Karp didn’t create The Happiest Toddler techniques to develop grit, but I think it can help create a solid foundation for it to flourish!
